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Top 10 Tips To Exploit Buffets: Timed Buffets

Updated: May 31, 2018

All-you-can-eat buffets are a great way to try different food and stuff your face, yet not everyone may know how to maximise their full eating potential and eat their money’s worth.


There are 2 types of buffets—those with a fixed time limit and those without; the former is usually associated with Korean barbecue (KBBQ) buffets, and the latter often international buffets. These two distinctly different styles require different sets of tactics and we’ll break them down for you right here, starting with timed buffets.


Timed Buffets


We were mistaken for competitive eaters at Gyu-Kaku (secretly proud, yet slightly disgusted)

Be it 90 or 120 minutes, having an imposed time limit means that the focus should be on consuming as much food as humanly (or in my case, very often inhumanly) possible. Because these places are usually KBBQ joints, and many of these have the staff bring the ordered meats to your table, the house has the upper hand—how fast and how much you can eat is limited to their serving pace, but there are some ways around this.


1) Start the stopwatch

This allows you to keep track of their serving time, which will help you make better decisions later.


2) Familiarise yourself with KBBQ joints

Know which places have good or poor service, since this is going to make or break your buffet. Some places deliberately ignore your indicated quantity and give portions according to their own discretion, meaning you would need to repeatedly order their smaller portions, resulting in more time wasted waiting, which brings us to…


3) Your table should never be empty

If at any time you happen to find your table lacking food, you’ve already messed up. The key here is to order as you are eating, not after you’ve finished. This way, when you’re done with the current plates, the new orders should have hopefully arrived, creating a continuous cycle of food being refilled.


The grill couldn't handle our intense non-stop cooking--the alarm was triggered thrice that night.


4) Be authoritative

As much as you can time your orders carefully, much still depends on the responsiveness of the staff—some deliberately ignore you or are slow to act. The key here is to be authoritative and slightly aggressive, especially when you figure that they are fighting against you. Don’t be afraid to go up to them directly to call for their attention, or to ask why your food is taking so long (the stopwatch will help to tell when the waiting intervals become increasingly longer).


5) Find out what's good

If you already know which kinds of meat you prefer, go for those directly and not waste stomach space on stuff you don’t usually like. If you are undecided, use the first round of ordering to sample and narrow down your favourites for subsequent orders.


6) Prioritise cooking times

After ordering and getting your food, you still need to know how to efficiently cook and consume them. Meats like chicken obviously take the longest to cook, so your best bet would be to start with thinner cuts like pork belly or beef brisket—these take no time at all to cook, ensuring that you can maximise your meat consumption. Eat your fill with these quicker cooking meats first; keep the cooking of thicker meats for later when your eating pace slows down, and you need a breather.


Small pieces of beef like these cook the fastest


7) Rest when you need to

Taking breaks are perfectly fine, and essential. Have a sip of your drink (non-carbonated drinks only please) and chill out for a bit. Know when to pause, so you can eat more in the long-run.


8) It's a Trap

Don’t be fooled by them asking to change your grill—use your own discretion to decide if it is indeed, getting too scorched. Some places ask to change the grill even after you’ve barely cooked anything—another tactic used to slow you down, since after changing you’d have to wait for the grill to heat up again.


9) Overeat, but within limits

Be aware of food wastage charges. Know your limits and order portions accordingly—you can stuff yourself but please, don’t waste food.


10) Practice, practice, practice

It takes a while to master these skills, but eventually they will become muscle memory, and you can gain the edge over the house.


Now that you've learnt how to maximise your money and time at timed buffets, you're ready to conquer those pesky KBBQ joints. You're ready for the next phase.


Stay tuned for Part 2 of this guide and learn more tips on how you can exploit non-timed international buffets.


Or you know, just eat like a normal person instead.



A.T.

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