Unplanned, a few of us Fat Club millennials visited the most millennial-centric events of the month: Artbox and the Geylang Serai Bazaar. Good or bad, we were drawn to the hype and possibly also the rainbow food.
"Only for the (insta)gram", people say. "Overpriced", food-bloggers complain. We've heard aplenti, but here's our honest opinions.
Millennial 1: I Hate Artbox & You Should Too
Historically, humans have always managed to find daedalian ways to hoodwink one another in the name of economic profit. Adam Smith would have referred to such individuals as “prodigals and projectors” and approximately two centuries after his passing, it is incredulous and utterly bewildering to believe that humans are still lured by the deceptive ruse of profiteering entities such as Artbox, which is effectively a modern manifestation of P.T. Barnum’s legacy.
I went in with low expectations and Artbox crushed my expectations and pitched it into the depths of the bottomless bog.
I braved the sweltering Sunday afternoon heat, the comically long queues and a congregation of fellow millennials and instead of being rewarded for my grave hardship, I felt like I was being punished. I had some of the worst food I have ever had this year, all within 2 hours at Artbox (But I must admit the food is quite photogenic – I am guessing that is the selling point). Most of the food I tasted were quite bland and lacking in any decent flavour and I do have to point out that most of the fried food I ate tasted of rancid, recycled cooking oil.
To be fair, I did zero research about the place and I am pretty sure there were better food out there but still, why people continue to visit this place is beyond my human comprehension. Artbox is at most, a novelty – and even calling it a “novelty” could be considered excessive flattery.
Perhaps, our gullibility stems from the exasperation brought forth by the geospatial confines of Singapore or maybe, it is the mind-numbing equatorial heat that has deprived us of all our sensibilities. But more importantly, what we realized about Artbox was its alluring appeal to the modern consumer’s psyche: In the age of Instagram and hashtags, this event presents an opportunity for individuals to establish themselves as “trendy” or “hip” and Artbox pulls this off flawlessly, serving it all up on a bloody golden platter with fairy lights all over it. Then, it becomes quite clear that Artbox represents a microcosm of our modern consumer society – we constantly run on a hedonic treadmill, chasing after meaningless images with little substance to construct simulacra of our identities.
If Artbox has provided us with any real tangible value, it would be the unpleasant realisation surrounding the deficiencies of modern day consumerism. In silo, the food at Artbox represents the pinnacle of mediocrity, dressed in satin to exude chicness. I hate Artbox and you should too.
Millennial 2: I’ll Return For The Hype But Without Expectations
Anything that requires queueing for entry turns me off. I was there at around 8pm and queued for around 15 mins to enter - bad first impression formed.
Everywhere was either crowded or even more crowded. It was hard to navigate around without saying excuse me and maybe because I walk fast, I found it difficult to be walking, checking out stalls, and watching my way at the same time. And the summer heat just makes everything feel worse.
There were long queues at stalls for food that I wanted to try but no way was I going to brave the queues. Most stalls are existing food establishments brought in and we can always just visit their actual cafes/restaurants, which is what I’m going to do. Besides, it will be difficult to find anywhere to properly eat. Think about it: having to stand up and eat after queueing and in the crowd and heat is actually quite pathetic lol.
I got this thai toasted custard bun because I wanted to try the thai milk tea flavour but they were out of it. Of the flavours I got, taro was the only unique one; the other two were just chocolate and pandan (kaya?) sauce in toasted bread coated with planta. Interesting but $5 is quite a lot to pay for custard bread.
I might return to art box again to bask in the vibes and so I can relate to people when they complain. But I’ll go after dinner and make supper plans after that.
For me is I’ll buy food that are worth the money. Food with the best reviews are definitely more trustworthy but of course not till you try it yourself! Overpriced food these days are very common but as long as you read enough food reviews and if you follow closely what is more recommended, it will be fine 👍🏻🤗
Millennial 3: FOMO, So I Went Anyway
For a person who's usually excited about the cool new stuff happening, like the annual Singapore Night Festival and so on, I've never been to Artbox or the Geylang Serai Bazaar. I honestly didn't see much of a point in going there just for expensive food and well, for the sake of it. But this year, I relented. Call me FOMO, because I guess I was hoping the hype was pointing at something worth going for.
On the last day of Artbox, when I first entered MBS, I was greeted with a teenage girl shouting at people w a loud hailer to move to the left, looking jaded. That made an odd, lasting first impression of the event.
The queue was indeed crazy long, but it was a moving one so other than the scorching hot weather, it was bearable. I heard that people queued for 1 hour to get in last year, that's slightly insane. The trick I guess is to go on the last day, like what I did, so you’ll only try the stuff really worth your money after reading reviews of its Victims online. Artbox, I feel, lacked purpose. It had food, sold stuff, had some bands, was o-kay decorated, but that was kind of it. Without a theme other than atas Pasar Malam which I inferred, it was hard to be compelled to come back next year.
For the Geylang Serai Bazaar, getting there was one hell of a traffic jam, and that was how the crowd situation was like inside the bazaar too. I enjoyed the traditional malay food and my personal favourite, Deng Deng. But really, so many of the store that saw crazy queues were stores selling "millennial-friendly" food. The rainbow cheese toast, volcano watermelon drink, and so forth. I guess it's hard to not get critical about this.
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